The Puppet Paradox
by B.A.D-Class
Summary: It wasn't easy living with Morinaga, especially not when Souichi was finally falling pretty hard. But was it any easier being wanted by the one he distrusted the most? He couldn't tell Morinaga; how could he? He was being played like a puppet on strings.
1. Chapter 1

**This story takes place around a year after Volume 8. And this is my first KSB story, so yeah. I really hope I didn't screw anything up too much x)**

I actually came up with the idea for this story while reading **Shenanigans**** by Vasheren (I actually love that story haha I think it's on my favorites list but I'm not positive.) and I thought "Well...what if Masaki actually wanted Souichi?" Because he was admiring his body x)**

I think I made Morinaga say 'Senpai' a bit too many times but that's not a huge deal ~ I'll get over it.

I decided to make Masaki the bad guy because of what he did to Kunihiro in Volume 5, so I can imagine him being, you know, evil ~ and I wanted to start the story off with some fluff :D because fluff is like cats on top of cats. But anywhore, I hope you guys like it!

****o 0 o O o 0 o

"Ahh, Senpai..."

"Mmn..."

Somewhere in between his kouhai's low, thick breaths upon the nape of his neck, and his own short, raspy breaths as he tried to regain composure, he found himself clearing his mind of all negative thoughts as he wormed further into the warm embrace. He found his hand curtaining gently over the one on his stomach. His thumb ran lovingly over the taut knuckles, noticing the dry white film on his lover's fingers. He cringed in slight disgust, nose crinkling, as he remembered where those fingers had been and what they were capable of doing to his sensitive body. Whilst in denial of what an impact it had on his senses, he always found it quite remarkable of how this man was able to make his body ignite, when he had never received such reaction from being with a woman. The very thought of being gay made his stomach turn. Him, gay? How ridiculous. The very thought of the gender-blind sex fiends made him gag.

But somehow, he was happy that it was this way. It made him feel protected, to know that he was never alone, and would never be abandoned, as per the constant reminders of his kouhai's undying love for him. He trusted the man, and knew he was trusted in return. He knew he would never leave if he wasn't made to. And somehow that was a comfort. He had been swarmed with heartbreak all his life, had never been properly appreciated or loved, and he felt so abandoned and sour. Perhaps this was why he was so tyrannical all the time. As he recalled the lack of happy events in his life, he chocked his attitude up to being alone and disliked all his life. Deep down, he was grateful that someone actually took an interest in him. Sure, sometimes Morinaga pissed him off beyond his comprehension, but he didn't hate him. He couldn't find it in himself to hate him.

And yet, he couldn't find the courage to come out and speak his true feelings. He wondered if he would ever be able to.

"Sexy..." Morinaga pushed the long blonde-brown locks over Souichi's shoulder and trailed his swollen lips up his Senpai's shoulder blades, making the frail man whimper and shake.

"N-not while we just did it...idiot..." Souichi sighed contently, bronze eyes fluttering slightly. He could feel sleep tugging at them, aching for him to fall into its trap.

"Senpai...I love you." The sweet voice carried towards his ear, gently kissing the edge of it before he laid back down, nuzzling his nose into Souichi's shoulder. "I love you...so much. I never want to let you go..." His grip around the man's waist tightened. "I just wish you could feel the same..."

That struck a slight nerve in the man. Sometimes he wished that Morinaga didn't like to cuddle and whisper sweet nothings in his ear after sex. It always made him feel weird whenever he said something about being in love. It made Souichi feel...ashamed.

"Who...ever said...I didn't?"

"Hmm?"

Souichi felt his face flush. _Had he really just said that? _"W-well...I definately don't hate you...and it's obvious that I want you here..."

"Senpai...are you saying you...love me?" He could just feel Morinaga's eyes widening, the man leaning over him to peer at his face and the expression he was making. Souichi glanced at him, face red. He felt so embarrassed.

At first, the flick of his eyes up at the wondrous green orbs was nothing more than a simple examination. But then, while being practically smothered by those eyes, he saw much more than simple curiosity in them. He saw so much love in them, so much compassion. He found himself mesmerized, studying Morinaga's loving gaze as it stared into his own. His kouhai's face morphed from shock to immense happiness, as Morinaga flailed and threw himself into Souichi.

"Senpai loves me!" Morinaga sniffled as tears brimmed at his waterline.

"Eh!" Souichi was startled by Morinaga's sudden embrace, and found himself compacted between two strong arms, but managed to slowly melt and accept the hug. He could feel Morinaga's hot tears on his shoulder, the man's soft hair rustling his cheek. He knew he really cared for Morinaga, although he would never dare to admit it, but was it love? He had never been in love before. He knew Morinaga had been in love multiple times before, and it would be rather wise for him to ask how to tell if he was truly in love, but that would be giving it away. He racked his mind for a way to tell for certain, but his thoughts were too hazy. He sighed and let his chin rest lightly on Morinaga's shoulder.

"It's okay...I won't tell anybody if you really don't want me to." Those bright green orbs stared into him and made him feel naked. "This can be our little secret, okay?"

Souichi was astonished with himself; here he was going all mushy gushy over some man, and never could find the guts to truly hate what he's become. "S-secret? What secret? I never said anything about that!"

"You know, you don't have to be so nervous around me." Morinaga placed a quick chaste kiss on Souichi's lips. "I promise I won't do anything. As surprising as it may be, I'm actually too beat to do anything."

"Well, isn't that a first." Souichi narrowed his golden eyes at Tetsuhiro and slumped back to his pillow.

"Nee, Senpai..." Morinaga grabbed his wrist, forcing his body to turn to face him again. His dark hair curtained down over his face as he pulled the thin body to his own, holding it securely as if it were an infant. "You're never very pleasant around me, are you? ...It hurts me."

"Huh?"

Tetsuhiro chuckled. "Loving someone for almost six and a half years...who doesn't love you in return...would take a lot of guts, don't you think?" He ran his finger along the purple marks on Souichi's neck.

"I told you already dumbass, I didn't say that!" Souichi, body starting to become heavy with sleep again, immediately bolted up, a look of anger crossing his eyes.

"So you love me, then?"

"Baka! I never said that either!"

"Senpai...your words hurt. Though, you must feel strongly for me in some perspective, if you had the guts to call me out of work for good to come back to the lab."

Souichi gasped softly and looked up at him, eyes riddled with slight shock and astonishment. It was true; he had been lonely long enough, what with Morinaga working a mere hour away and having to stay at a nearby hotel, simply because the ride from work to the apartment was way too long. Souichi had spent countless nights alone, constantly dealing with his poorly managed libido. Without his kouhai's regulated appearance and constant affection, his body had gone haywire with the sudden absence of the hurricane of lust he grew to know.

"Shut up! That was only because I couldn't take care of the apartment alone!"

Morinaga backed away by a couple of inches. "Ah, Senpai..." He brushed his fingers across Souichi's cheek, making it flush pink, before he cupped the man's cheek. Souichi could feel a grin twitching at his lips, but he did his best to fight it off as he sighed and pressed his face further into Tetsuhiro's warm palm. His own hand came up to rub across the knuckles. "I'm happy. You actually wanted me back. Could it be that you...really love me?"

At first, the blonde was silent, eyes shimmering as they fought through multiple different emotions. He wasn't sure whether to be furious and cry, or to be happy and hug him.

His heartbeat quickened and he sat up, looking into Morinaga's eyes. He wasn't even sure if he loved the man in front of him. If he said yes, he would be running the risk of over-selling himself, but if he said no, he'd break Morinaga's heart once again. "T-Tetsu...hiro..."

"It's okay. I know...even though I say it without any restraint...you're not one to be so willing."

"I..." With that one ounce of strength he somehow still had, he threw his arms over Morinaga's shoulders, head tucked in the crook of his neck. His hands found their way into the dark hair that comforted him, body pressed up against the other. He mentally nagged himself, knowing very well they were both still naked and he would easily become turned on within a matter of seconds, but he needed to show Morinaga that even if he didn't exactly love him the way he was loved, he still held a place in the dark, cold cell he called a heart. "I want you...here...s-so don't leave again...idiot..."

After a few seconds of initial shock, Morinaga returned the favor by gently kissing Souichi's cheeks and running his fingers up and down the man's spine in a comforting manner. "Thank you...I'm...I'm happy." He was honestly stunned each time Senpai showed true affection. He had been so used to being rejected and hated by the man he held dear because of his preferences.

"Nnh...d-don't...do that..." Senpai shivered in the brunette's arms, feeling his body react to the unintended stimulation. "We just did it...not even an hour ago..."

"Eh? Oh...! I'm sorry...I didn't mean..." Morinaga pulled away and reached down to pull the blankets up over their bodies, sinking down into his pillow. "I'm sorry. Let's just get some rest."

Souichi concentrated on everything but Morinaga, trying to calm down his senses. He cursed his hypersensitivity; it made him prone to feelings he didn't want to experience, and things he didn't want to understand. It made him hate himself, as he created an image of what he once was, twisted and demented into a caricature of that idiotic brother of his. He sighed in relief when he did soon relax, and lay down facing his kouhai.

"Eh? Senpai?" Morinaga was startled. Souichi had never slept in that position before. It was always him facing the wall, Morinaga cuddling him from behind. He had never once wanted to look the man in the eye after sex. He was always too embarrassed.

"S-shut up." He looked down at his pillow as he was pulled into Tetsuhiro's chiseled chest. The very feel of Tetsuhiro's soft flesh on his own made his face grow warm, but he somehow managed to not become turned on. "What are you...?"

"Can we just stay like this for a while?" Lips traced his eyebrows and the shadows of his bangs.

"...Fine."

"I really love you, Senpai..."

"Saying that while you treat me like a puppet..."

"That's simply because I love that puppet more than the air I breathe."

o 0 o O o 0 o

The morning was peaceful and greeted by tousled bedsheets, warm rays of sun cast on the comforter, the pitchy, boisterous chirps of blue birds flickering in eager ears. It was calm and comfortable, and remained undisturbed, just as they wished it could be. It was a Sunday, so they would not have to go to work, and could remain peacefully set at the apartment. They could do some shopping together, maybe take a nice walk around town. It was a warm day, the sun startlingly bright and the grass as green as Tetsuhiro's irises. It made him smile in his subconscious; he knew that Senpai hated the bright sun. He had said that it was "too yellow" and annoying. He himself cherished the warmth it eminated, the protectiveness it showed. It reminded him of how Kanako-chan had treated him when he had been their aid for a while. She was always elated to have Tetsuhiro over, even if her Nii-san wasn't. Senpai had sworn that if Morinaga was straight and Kanako were older, the two would've been happily married.

Senpai had never been very honest with his feelings; he had been deemed fearless, but appeared to be terrified of how he felt for other people. It was as if he purposely tried to avoid falling in love, as if he would not be able to control himself. But control he owned, and this control was livid. In which sense, he was like Tetsuhiro in a way; uncontrollable. He could no longer control the hatrid he felt for homosexuals; he was changing and he knew it damn well. He felt a certain way for Tetsuhiro, but refused to believe what it could possibly be. And he knew that it was what he was afraid it was.

But how could he tell him? He couldn't just walk up to Tetsuhiro unexpectedly and announce his feelings. Although verbally simple, he was a huge emotional wreck whenever even exposed to Tetsuhiro or anything associated with him. He remembered the nights Tetsuhiro stayed at work, at that hotel, when he was no longer an assistant. Souichi had refused to sleep in his own bed for a while; he had trouble sleeping without that familiar heartwarming presence around him. There were some days when he couldn't stay in the apartment at all, and ended up staying at Matsuda-sama's. When he mustered up the courage to stay in the apartment, he spent his nights snuggling with one of the shirts that Morinaga had left behind.

That night, Souichi had spent his precious sleep time having his dreams invaded by Morinaga's nosy presence. He would be peacefully imagining something, perhaps to do with Kanako, or the occasional dream about his long-gone parents, and he would wake up in tears. But to dream about Morinaga quickly turned into a very dangerous situation; he knew the effects Morinaga did tend to have on his lithe body, and how especially _good _he was at it, and he knew his history of having dirty dreams was extensive. Even worse - he was sleeping in the arms of the very man responsible.

He needed to change all that; he needed to show Morinaga that he wasn't scared to be in his presence anymore, that he could be generous every once in a while. Of course, with a twisted mine like Tetsuhiro's, he knew the man would expect a sexual favor from him, obviously, something he would never imagine himself doing. Tetsuhiro had tried that on his birthday last year; he even went so far as to refuse to get up and go to work unless Souichi came forward and gave him a blowie. And of course, things ended in blood. But long story short - he was a man and men are strong. He wasn't made of glass.

Tetsuhiro was sleeping peacefully under the comforter, the yellow rays of sun lightly outlining the well-sculpted muscles of his partially exposed torso. His face was painted with a rather content look, lips turned up in a slight smile, skin healthy and soft. He had intended on sleeping in with Senpai, having breakfast together, then spending some time admiring the weather.

But what he hadn't planned on was for Senpai to be awake before him, especially not after a night of sex.

The clattering and loud banging of pans crashing to the floor is what startled him awake; his mind was buzzing and his thoughts raced in figure 8's before he could even remotely comprehend what was going on. He shot up, heart pounding from the sudden fright. His first thought was an attempted assault, an invader in their apartment, sneaking through their things, sabotaging their belongings, and accidentally bumping into things, sending them crashing to the floor. He shooed that first accusation from his mind, as it was morning, and anybody that wanted to break in would've done it during the night when it was dark and when everybody was asleep. But he knew that Isogai was right around the corner, and Tetsuhiro still didn't trust the man at all.

His next thought wasn't one of the cause of the suspicious noise, but of the unknown location of his lover. He glanced next to him; he was right, Senpai wasn't there. _What if he had been attacked and hurt? Raped? Murdered? _He shuddered at the last thought, heartbeat quickening and breathing becoming labored. It terrified him to even think about his Senpai's broken, mangled body lying helpless. He brought his knees to his chest, feeling hot tears snake down his eyelashes. After minutes of silence following the sudden crashing, he began to grow worried. Thankfully, his worry was short-lived when he heard yet another few loud crashes and Senpai's angry, frustrated screaming. But while he was slightly relieved, it scared him a bit more. When he suddenly heart soft whimpering, his breath hitched. _He sounds like he's in pain...oh no...did he hurt himself?_

He was running before he could even comprehend the fact that his feet worked. He was still so drowsy that he forgot the anatomy of the apartment and lost his way to the kitchen once or twice. He was slightly hungover from drinking last night, but not terribly. His legs were still weak after last night, and multiple times his knees buckled and nearly sent him flying. His hands reached out to push the kitchen door past him, and he was instantly met by a flustered, sighing Senpai.

The man's long dirty blonde hair was left down this morning, tangled over his shoulders, fingers threaded tightly in his bangs. He was sitting on the ground against the counter, knees up, elbows tucked in his lap, face in his palms. Various food scraps littered the counter, some bursting from the clogged garbage disposal. Various pans that once were hanged from a ring board were bent slightly in places and strewn around the room. It was obvious he'd been throwing them across the room. Just them falling wouldn't have dented them like that. Tetsuhiro stepped forward a little and heard the door scrape against a pan on the ground.

"S-Senpai..." He rushed to the man's side, taking the frustrated, small hands in his own warm, strong ones. Souichi peered up at him with red, swollen eyes, eyes that wouldn't have been that damaged from a hangover. _He...had been crying?  
_

"Morinaga." He looked startled, as if Morinaga had suddenly snuck up on him without warning. But he had seen him standing in the doorway; he wasn't deaf. "What are you doing awake?" He asked with slight venom lacing his words.

_'What am I doing awake'?_ "Eh? What do you mean what am I doing awake?" Tetsuhiro glanced around at the mess Souichi had made. "All your banging woke me up. I thought someone had broken in and attacked you...and...and I got scared, so..." He refused to finish. He looked down into Souichi's eyes and for a moment, couldn't believe what he was seeing.

He saw those honey-colored eyes he loved so much, full of tears and worry. _Who is this person? The Senpai I know would get mad at me for imagining those things._

But Souichi's attitude never matched his body language, and Morinaga knew that. "Stop treating me like a child. I'm a man. I'm perfectly capable for defending myself if anything ever happened." _Ah, there he is._

Slender fingers reached out to touch blonde hair, but Senpai swatted the hand away.

"Just go back to bed." Souichi stood shakily and barked at the man.

Tetsuhiro backed up a few inches, insulted. "Why?"

"Because I want you to!"

"What? Why do I have to go back to bed? It's already nine-thirty! I can't sleep in forever!"

"Bakaaa~!" Souichi waved his arm around the violated kitchen. "Can't you fucking see what I'm doing in here? I was trying to cook you some breakfast, but you had to fucking interrupt!" His voice was loud and harsh, obviously not caring if the neighbors heard, which they most likely did.

Tetsuhiro gasped softly and looked around the kitchen once more. Senpai didn't realize what he was saying. He had just admitted to caring for the dark-haired fellow and his health. There hadn't been an attacker, after all. It was all Souichi wanting to comfort Morinaga.

Senpai blew a puff of air upwards, trying to cool his warm face. He seemed appreahensive, awfully...unsure of himself. Tetsuhiro couldn't blame him for that. He knew that Senpai couldn't cook, and Senpai even knew. Even when Tetsuhiro was stuck at work some nights, Senpai would either order in or go over to Matsuda-sama's to eat. It was obvious now why Souichi had a temper tantrum in the kitchen and had thrown the pans.

"Senpai..." Tetsuhiro suddenly engulfed him from behind, hands slithering around his waist, face buried into his shoulder. "Why did you want to do that? You know you aren't skilled in culinary arts." He smelled his senpai's hair; it was so silky and clean, and smelled like fresh melon, just how Tetsuhiro liked it.

Souichi seemed to want the ground to open up and swallow him whole, to escape from this embarrassment; but he knew that the ground never just opened up, let alone swallowed people. He felt his face turn hot, his heart rate picking up speed. "I...I wanted to."

Tetsuhiro chuckled. "You're so lovely today."

"Ah...you idiot." Souichi managed to gasp out as a pair of warm, moist lips descended onto his neck. He unconsciously leaned further into the embrace, head lolling back, exposing more of his creamy pale neck.

He knew he was so out of character today, but truth be told, he was so torn up that he just couldn't find a reason to punch the crap out of the man holding him defenseless. He was so comfortable in those strong arms, feeling so protected and loved, like he never had been before. He felt so admired for the first time in his life, even if it was by what he despised most of all. He still hated what he had dared to become, but he couldn't help but feel like he was meant to be this way.

_No, what am I saying? I'm not fucking gay. I'm not a god damn homo, and I never will be!_

"Come on, Senpai. Let's clean up." Tetsuhiro suddenly pulled away, leaving Souichi lingering, aching, bare. "Then I'll fix us up some miso soup. Alright?"

"Ngh...fine." Souichi moved forward to pick up a pan, running his fingernails over the scratches he had created. God, what had he become? He always hated affection, always hated when people were so lovey-dovey with each other, not caring who was around. And now here he was, trembling like a child, wishing that Morinaga was still holding him. His heart was naturally hard, but somehow he could feel it beginning to bloom like a rose. With every glance he took at Tetsuhiro, he felt that wilted bud begin to flower to life. He suddenly began to tremble in unexpected fear. What was happening to him?

Tetsuhiro was busy placing the pans up on the counter to be washed. He didn't catch Souichi's scrutinizing glare studying him.

"M-Morinaga..."

"Eh?" The man looked up at Souichi, who was twitching nervously, heartbeat just audible enough for both of them to hear. _Wait...why is he nervous?_

Souichi felt the need to move, but found himself frozen in place. He couldn't make a move to Tetsuhiro; that damn homo would pull him into his arms and hug him a thousand times, asking every ten seconds if he truly loved him. He didn't want to fall for Morinaga, but he knew that it was something that couldn't be helped. He knew that love couldn't just disappear overnight. He was going to have to ride it out and see exactly where it took them.

_What am I talking about? I don't love him! I can't love a homo! That's ridiculous! I hate him, I despise him, I want him to die...right? Don't I...? I..._

"Ahh, Senpai...you're so unfocused today." Tetsuhiro stood up, placing the rest of the pans in the basin. He walked over to a frazzled Souichi and placed his hand on the man's chest, smoothing the fabric of his shirt. Souichi's face was very warm, eyes dilated, fingers tight and locked as if he were suffering from arthritis. "You haven't even put your hair up yet. Not that I'm complaining."

"Huh?" Souichi hadn't even realized his lack of care for his appearance lately. He had always been rather strict with how he looked even more now that Tetsuhiro was living there. He always made sure to look profession and tidy, and made sure he didn't have an inviting posture. The incident at the bar in Canada still haunted him greatly, and even scared him, even though his friends had saved him from another possible assault. Just thinking about that brought back memories of the professor, and what almost happened, and...if Morinaga hadn't gone to check on him...

"Are you alright?" Morinaga's fingers were entwined in Souichi's long hair. Senpai seemed dazed, as if he wasn't even looking at anything.

"I-I'm fine. Just go cook something. I'm starving." Souichi stomped away, face bright red, heart thumping loudly. He couldn't deny the fact that was scared to be alone.

"Alright." Tetsuhiro offered with a small smile. Souichi looked back at him, eyes focused on the way he smiled. His lips would turn up, sometimes showing a few of his perfect white teeth especially when he smirked. His eyes would twinkle and his face would gleam. _No! Stop it! You're not gay!_

Souichi stumbled into the living room, collapsing on the couch. He stretched his legs out, his head leaning back comfortably on the arm. He rubbed his forehead with the back of his head. He needed to stop; he was spiraling out of control. He was falling fast, and he needed to stop it. He didn't care for Morinaga that way, right? He wasn't that infatuated with him. ...Right? This couldn't be happening. He listened to the thumping of his heart, how they became louder at the very thought of the dark-haired man in the next room. His body became warm and tingly, the same way he was when Morinaga cried on his shoulder. Oh, no. It really was true. This was like the end of the world to him. He would never be looked at the same way by his family again. Isogai would boast proudly to him and irritate him so much that he would tear his hair out. Kanako would flood him with questions regarding him and Morinaga as a couple. This just could not be happening.

He didn't want to think about it. He shuddered, realizing it was rather cold in the room. He knew Morinaga would pull some crap to warm him up, using those skilled fingers of his, and the both of them would lose every ounce of self-control they owned and end up fucking on the couch. He wondered to himself how it could've come to this. He knew if he told Tetsuhiro he loved him, he would never be allowed to forget that he said it, but if he said he didn't love him, the man would give up on him and leave university. He didn't know how to say he was stuck in the middle.

He didn't realize that he had fallen asleep thinking about Morinaga.

o 0 o O o 0 o

He woke some time later, and turned over in his sleep to see Morinaga sitting contently on the carpet several feet away from him, a little white bowl in his hands. He lifted his spoon to his lips, eyelids fluttering. It must've been rather delicious, Souichi thought quietly. He was slightly glad that the mess of inky hair and affection hadn't realized he was awake yet. He enjoyed this peace. He enjoyed not being woken up to a half-naked horny Morinaga. He was relieved to see the man dressed in a blue t-shirt and slouched, fitted jeans. He seemed engrossed in whatever it was he was watching on the television, completely oblivious to Souichi sitting up.

He ran his hands through his long hair, brushing out the static. He saw little smudges in his glasses, courtesy of him failing to take them off when he slept. He wiped them on his shirt, thumbs pressing the fabric into the glass in little circles. When he stood to go to the kitchen and get some soup, he saw Morinaga's head turn to him.

"Oh, Senpai! You're awake." Tetsuhiro set his bowl back on the glass coffee table and rose to his feet, walking over and reaching out to pet Souichi's hair. He received no protests, and smiled. "You fell asleep on the couch, so I didn't make you a bowl. The pot's in the oven. Okay?"

"Yeah..." Souichi felt the soft fingers tracing outlines on his cheek. He knew he was blushing and he knew his eyes were admiring the man. But he just couldn't help it. "Uh, I'll...go get a bowl." He backed away from Morinaga and hid his face in his hair as he walked into the kitchen. He was so embarrassed; what had become of him back there? He was like some lovesick puppy. Why couldn't he just slap Morinaga? Why couldn't he just tell him to back off? Why?

His hands trailed on the counter as he peered through the cupboard, finding another white bowl. He grabbed a ladle and opened the oven, taking the pot out. He placed it on the counter and dipped the ladle in it, filling the cupped part. After filling his bowl, he dipped his spoon in it and brought it to his lips. He hadn't realized that he had just practically _moaned _in ecstasy. Morinaga had made it just the way he liked it, just the way his mother always used to make it. It was so warm and so tangy. He wondered why he had never seen just how truly well Morinaga could cook. _He would take such good care of me if I was ill and bedridden.  
_

_No, stop that! Stop thinking about that. Stop letting your mind wander. You don't feel that way for him._

He sighed hopelessly. Not even his conscious could convince him otherwise.

Souichi dipped his spoon back into the bowl and walked out, sitting down on the carpet next to Tetsuhiro. He noticed two big green eyes peering curiously at him, probably wondering why exactly Senpai had decided to sit right next to him.

"Shut up." Souichi snapped before Morinaga could question his actions. He continued to sip at the soup he was given, while Morinaga had already finished. It was quiet and peaceful, the only audible sounds being the voices on the television, the clinking of the spoon against the porcelain bowl, and the warm sounds of the soup sliding down Souichi's throat.

"I'm happy." Tetsuhiro smiled and leaned in to kiss Souichi's cheek so fast, he wasn't even able to fully comprehend that it had happened.

"Why you little-" Souichi's hand swung back to slap his kouhai across the face, but Tetsuhiro quickly got to his knees and grabbed the blonde's frail wrist.

He looked into those bitter, tawny-colored eyes. "Senpai...don't be mean. I love you. Please don't be like this. We're not out in public. You don't have to be so nervous." _Oh, crap. _He knew how much Souichi was trembling whenever their skin came in contact. He wasn't sure why, though, and thought it was simply because Senpai was afraid of becoming turned on. He knew once he was horny, there was no turning back.

"Idiot! I'm not nervous!" Souichi defended himself, backing away little by little. He was still haunted by the professor's assault, and perhaps that was why he was so scared of Morinaga's advances on him; he didn't want to be taken advantage of.

"But why are you shaking? You can tell me. It's alright." Tetsuhiro took the little bowl from Souichi's thin hands and placed it on the table. Once he turned his attention back to the man before him, he took the little hands in his own.

"I..." Why exactly _was _he shaking? It wasn't like he was scared of Morinaga. He just didn't want to be abused like a toy. He was a very strong person, and always did so well on his own. But here he was, faced with another man, and shivering in fear of being abandoned. He couldn't believe the truth of the emotions running thick through his veins. "I don't know. I don't know, and it scares me. I'm not a bad person. I'm always so...unsure of myself...around you, and that scares me! I shouldn't be scared, but what is the reason why I act this way? That's the thing I want to know the most!"

"Se...Senpai..." Tetsuhiro was astonished; Souichi hadn't yet realized what he just said. He had basically came out and told Tetsuhiro that he cared for him but wasn't sure in what way. He had just given the impression that he was in love and didn't know how to react to it. Tetsuhiro didn't even care; he threw his arms around Souichi and hugged him close to his body, not wanting to let go. "Do you mean it? Really, truly? Do you really mean it?

_Dammit_, Souichi thought. _There he goes again, asking me a million times if I really love him. But...do I? I don't know. I've never been in love. I've never known what it was like to be so crazy for another person, and to feel such great heartbreak when they weren't there. I've...ugh, god dammit...I've never realized how truly blind I've been. Fuck my life._

Souichi was tired of hearing Morinaga pestering him with questions. He pushed his face forward, pressing his lips to Morinaga's, wanting to feel them eminating warmth throughout his body. Tetsuhiro immediately responded by kissing back, one hand going to the small of Senpai's back and the other getting tied in the long blonde-brown locks. He opened his mouth to feel Souichi's tongue tun across his; that startled him. It had never been Senpai who kissed first, licked first, and touched first. It had always been Morinaga.

Tetsuhiro pulled away, earning a small whimper from his beloved Senpai. He didn't want to stop, but he was too shocked to continue._ What exactly just happened?_

"You really mean it!" Tetsuhiro could feel hot tears bubbling to his waterline, and he could instantly see them blurring his vision. He didn't dare wipe them away; he just let them fall in little streams.

"Egh..." Souichi looked away. "Don't ever mention this to anyone." _You dumb shit. Why the hell didn't you say it? Just say it. It's not that hard. _

"I won't." Morinaga cooed lovingly. "I'm so happy, Senpai. You've finally come to terms with your feelings. Thank you, so much. I love you...so much that, it pains me to see you suffer...I won't leave you alone...so don't be afraid of me, please..." Those strong arms wrapped him in a blanket of love once more, and this time refused to let go. Souichi felt the need to do something, and with a little endurance, he snaked his arms around Tetsuhiro's neck, pressing his face to the man's exposed collarbone. He inhaled, smelling that familiar, intoxicating scent of his kouhai that never failed to drive him mad. It was so comforting and so irresistable. "I love you."

Souichi felt tears on his neck, and glanced at his shirt, seeing it unbuttoned, leaving his chest and his shoulder exposed. He felt...happy. He held in his own bitter tears and a weak smile, not wanting to seem feeble. He wondered how so much could've happened in so little time. But he knew love's mysterious ways; he knew of Romeo and Juliet and he knew how quickly they had fallen for one another. He just hoped he hadn't fallen that quickly.

He couldn't find the proper words to say; he knew it would be perfect to say those three words Morinaga wanted ever so much to hear his Senpai say, but he just...couldn't. Come to think of it, Souichi couldn't remembered the last time he had said that phrase to anyone. Ever since the death of his mother, he hadn't once said it to Kanako or to Tomoe or to anyone. He wasn't used to it.

"Oh, I know you'll probably get angry, but Masaki-san called." Tetsuhiro pulled away, looking into Souichi's eyes. At the very mention of his ex-boyfriend's name, he saw Senpai's eyes widen dangerously, brow arching.

"What the fuck does he want?" The words slipped out before Souichi could think them over and how they would affect Morinaga. But the man didn't seem all that hurt. Senpai stood up, looking down at him.

"He wanted to apologize for making you feel uncomfortable each time he was here, and-"

"I WASN'T FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE! HE'S JUST FUCKING RUDE!"

"Whoa..." Tetsuhiro rose to Souichi's level. "Senpai, please calm down-"

"I don't want anything to do with him! Why are you so fucking blind?"

"Senpai, please...you're being hurtful. Just let me explain the situation."

"No! The situation was fine until you had to bring that dipshit's name into the conversation!"

"Senpai, listen!"

It was as if the whole fight was in slow-motion, because before they knew it, they were both in a rather compromising position; Souichi pressed up against the wall, Morinaga pressed against him with his hands on either side of the man's head, palms against the wall. Senpai's heartbeat was loud and threatening, as he gulped in each breath of air. "I'm listening, dammit. Just fucking talk."

Tetsuhiro sighed, looking away. His dark hair concealed his vision and prevented Souichi from looking into his disappointed glare. "Masaki called and asked if we could spend time with him before he returns home. He just wanted to make it up to us, because he saw how tense he made you. He wanted to apologize for making you so stressed. Please, Senpai...just do this for me?"

"Why do I have to?" Souichi barked at him, eyes filled to the brim with venom. "He obviously called _you, _so he obviously wants _you_!Where do I come into this, huh? Don't feed me his bullshit. He doesn't want me there. He just wants you all to himself." He looked down, bangs hiding him from Morinaga's eyes. "He wants to make sure I can't have you..." His last words were a faint whisper, but he knew Morinaga heard him.

"Senpai..." Those lips were on his again before he could see it happen. And just as quickly as they appeared, they left, leaving him aching once more. "Just come with us, alright? We'll go out for lunch and talk for a bit, and if you really aren't comfortable with it, we'll go home. Alright?"

_Easy for you to say. _Souichi sighed. He wasn't in any position to argue. If he did, he knew Morinaga would get down on his knees and beg him, or worse, force him. No, that last one wouldn't happen. Morinaga hated to force Souichi to do things. That was one of the reasons Souichi was so comfortable around him; he wasn't like the professor. He wasn't going to hurt him. He was going to be there and he wasn't leaving. But he annoyed him as well; he always played him to his advantage like a puppet on strings. He always managed to get Souichi to do things he didn't want to do. But perhaps it was good that it was this way. Maybe that was what he admired the most about his kouhai. He didn't want to be abandoned again.

"Fine."

o 0 o O o 0 o


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N Okay, so, I was actually debating continuing this or dropping this. But everyone who's read this has told me to continue it, so I will. **

**But discretion is very strongly advised, because this story will be very twisted and very sadistic. Stop reading if any of this makes you uncomfortable, but I feel like this is the type of story that nobody would write, and it really should be written, sick or not. It isn't advised for the weak at heart. **

**And someone had pointed this out to me in the first chapter; I made a grammatical error in one of my sentences mixing up the word "hand" for "head".**

**If you know me, or if you've seen my complaints about myself on my other stories, I type extremely fast, and I use Wordpad, which doesn't have any type of grammar check. Please bear with me if I make errors. I promise I won't screw anything up too badly. I'll start editing the chapters in the Fanfiction editor, but that's about all I can do.**

**And in order to keep all you guys safe, I'll put a warning at the beginning of each chapter. **

**Title: **The Puppet Paradox

**Disclaimer: **Characters not mine, idea mine.

**Characters: **Souichi, Morinaga, Masaki

**Rating:** T

**Warnings: **Intense language, touchy-feelyness, kissing

**PS: All Asian words are translated at the bottom in the ending author note.**

**Enjoy the story c:**

* * *

Souichi was fuming; he had actually agreed to spend an afternoon, under Morinaga's protection of course, with the very being that put Tetsuhiro through emotional hell. '_Why the fuck did he agree to this, anyway? Why did Morinaga agree to meet with him?' _It was moments like this he wished that Masaki's suicide attempts actually worked, so that the devil wouldn't be with them anymore and Souichi wouldn't have to bust his ass to keep Morinaga in line.

No, he couldn't think that let alone actually say it. That would devastate Morinaga; even if his kouhai didn't love Masaki any longer, he was still too nice a person to be one to spit crude words as freely as Souichi did. He wouldn't be able to comprehend the vulgarities that came out of his Senpai's mouth. Souichi could only imagine the initial look of absolute shock, horror, and devastation on the man's face; '_What did Senpai just say? Is this reality? How can he dare say that so freely?'_

And of course, that was the last thing that Souichi wanted – a heartbroken, helpless Morinaga.

Something he very well needed to learn how to do was bite his tongue. It much too often cause him and others around him grief. The truth of the matter was, he never always meant it, anyway. Tetsuhiro was too sensitive, he sometimes thought to himself. He wasn't anywhere near as big of an asshole as Souichi was. He felt for everyone around him, felt that everyone was equal and deserved a second chance. Souichi thought that if they were incompetent enough to blow a first chance, then a second one was practically an emotional suicide. If he had any control over Masaki's request to meet with Tetsuhiro, he would've immediately refused and denied further conversation. But Tetsuhiro didn't live by those philosophies. He went along with each punch in the throat that life threw at him. He slinked past his obstacles and improved from them meanwhile. To him, life was nothing to pop a vessel over. Humans were emotionally structured to overcome problems. The only problem here was – Souichi wasn't emotionally stable.

Not only did he have constant battles with himself, but he was on edge, frightened that that pervert kouhai of his would pull a move and cop a feel when he least expected it. It didn't help that by now he knew, better than the skin of his palm, what Morinaga's favorite spots on him were. He tried his best to keep them away from reach whilst at school and keep them covered and protected. He knew people stared at him strangely in the cafeteria when he was with the man; hand plastered over the ear exposed by long tied hair, the other hand keeping his lap coat pulled shit, shielding the skin that his button-down shirt didn't cover.

He would go into school, hickeys on his hip bones and behind his ears from the previous night. He would do his best to keep them hidden, but his self conscious constantly alerted him of random females snickering, and his insecurity drove him to thinking they were laughing at _him. _Normally, it was just girl students gushing about a boy student they were crushing on. Souichi would overreact and jump to the assumption that they could see, plain as day, his battle wounds. His hands would swarm over various parts of his body and he would rush out of the room in embarrassment.

He didn't hate it, but his colleagues couldn't know that! That would shatter his professional aura, and now everyone would see him as someone vulnerable, someone able to be taken advantage of and ravaged. And while he would be suffering, his fellow peers' beloved Morinaga Tetsuhiro would be receiving claps on the back and words of appraisal thrown around like birthday confetti. Souichi wouldn't receive praise of any kind even if people knew he was with Morinaga; he had always been known as the one that treated gay people like stairs, walking all over them.

Then it didn't help that Tetsuhiro's ex-whore Masaki decided to burn a hole through their relationship by showing up and requesting his company. Even Souichi knew that Tetsuhiro was too soft and too forgiving. '_He actually forgave this piece of shit for cheating on him! _He _forgave _Masaki_!'_

And what if Masaki stole him and snuck off to a secluded area with him and left hickeys on his erogenous zones, just like Tetsuhiro often did to Souichi as a reminder of his love? Souichi couldn't even handle the _thought _of it.

'_Not happening. I'll kill both of them if Masaki even thinks about making a move.'_

"Bastard, what the fuck do you think you're doing?" Souichi snapped as he attempted to enter his room and dress himself. He and Morinaga were going on a picnic with that little bitch Masaki, and he wasn't happy one bit about it. But Morinaga happened to be all peaches and cream about it, and was even taking out an outfit for Souichi to wear.

"Picking out clothes for you, Senpai." Morinaga smiled and said with an unusual amount of nonchalance, tossing his hair gently to the side to be able to see Senpai's pink expression better.

"Who said I needed help picking out clothes? Masaki isn't gonna give a shit what I wear. You might as well just fucking wear a shoelace for all he cares." Souichi grumbled and sat on the edge of his bed, staring at his hands in his lap. He'd been grumpy all day, wanting to die before he'd even think about going near Masaki. He wasn't about to let his kouhai be a victim of surreptitious rape because he was stupid enough not to listen to Souichi, who, apparently, knew even the meaning of life.

"Senpai, can you please just be kind for today?" Morinaga looked up at him, a faint facade of desperation and ignorance written across his face. "I know he's probably the last person you'd even attempt to be kind to, but please, don't ruin this for me. He just wants to talk."

Senpai snorted. "Sure. Just talk, is it? Talking leads to fucking and fucking leads to abuse. He's abused you before. Don't think he won't do it again. You're a dumbass, but I seriously hope you're not _that _stupid."

Morinaga sighed. The things he did for this man. He swore, he really couldn't understand his reasons. Senpai was so coldhearted, so stubborn, yet so passionate and so sinful. Senpai had the worst of attitudes, and everyone knew it would bring him nothing but trouble. His family scorned him for his personality, assuming that he'd be lonely forever, since nobody could ever have enough patience to put up with the bomb, waiting to detonate, that was Souichi.

"And what are _you _gonna wear, huh?" Souichi sent a rotten smirk at him. "A suit and tie? Gonna take him out on a date?"

Tetsuhiro laughed to himself. "Well, Senpai, I could always… wear you." He crept over to Souichi until the man was trapped between his kouhai's body and the wall.

Souichi turned bright red and began to stutter, pounding his fist into the wall behind him. "Y-you… th-that's not… pervert!" He thrust his body against Tetsuhiro's, trying to drive him away, but his kouhai had other plans.

In the spur of Souichi's lithe body pressing against him, Tetsuhiro bucked his hips, causing Souichi to gasp and buckle, scrambling for balance upon his kouhai's arms.

"I'm a what now?" Tetsuhiro smiled and looked down at his blushing Senpai. He looked so… _scrumptious. _

"You… y-you're a… ah!" Souichi couldn't think of a way to form coherent sentences. Tetsuhiro had him pinned flat against the wall, hips gently rolling into his Senpai's. Souichi struggled to get free, struggled to push him off, but at the same time he didn't want to stop. His hips responded, bucking right back and meeting Tetsuhiro move for move.

"A what Senpai? Say it." His kouhai stated with a rough thrust, making Souichi gasp in tormented pleasure. This was so wrong, but so right. He wanted to stop, but he couldn't. He had no control over his actions, and every cell in his body was screaming for more. He was panting, aroused, squeaking out his needs. He wanted more, he needed more, he was so filthy but he needed _more._

"S-stop… can't… I… ha… h…" Souichi's knees gave out and he slid down the wall, disconnecting his pelvis from Tetsuhiro's. He whimpered from the loss of contact, but he needed to get out of this situation. _Now. _

"Hmm… you really can't hold it…" Tetsuhiro kneeled down to his level, brushing long blonde hair away from frustrated eyes. He placed a gentle kiss on the bridge of Souichi's nose before turning and closing the wardrobe, gently flinging the clothes he'd picked out at Souichi with a flick of his wrist.

"Sh-shut up and get ready. We're supposed to be… meeting with him. Idiot."

* * *

The drive was agonizingly quick. Souichi wanted it to last longer, wanted to have Tetsuhiro all to himself for more time. Out of stubborn consideration, Souichi had (with Tetsuhiro's cooking skills, of course) packed a large Shokado bento filled with onigiri, cheese, apples, sesame japchae, red bean taiyaki, raisin tteok, and salted youtiao. He didn't know what Masaki would like, but frankly he didn't care. The whore would have to suck it up and shove it down if he wanted any.

He had snuck a whiskey-filled flask in his side bag, hoping Tetsuhiro wouldn't notice. If he did he'd hit him. He wouldn't be able to tolerate all afternoon with this prick. He needed to get his fix, since Tetsuhiro had already forced him to leave all his cigarettes at home.

They went to the central park, planning to go out into one of the fields and sit down and eat and talk. It was a calm park, one that animals were restricted from, and one that everyone would go to and spend time with their children and fly kites and relax on the field. Today was a particularly mild day; it wasn't hot, which meant that not a lot of people would be there.

And as the car pulled to a stop in the lot and Tetsuhiro went around the side to open Souichi's door, the only logical thought that Souichi could make – _Kill me._

He wasn't looking forward to it. Not at all. He would much rather let Tetsuhiro have his way with him twice a day every day, than meet with the garbage that ruined Tetsuhiro's teenage life.

"Come on, Senpai. You can't enjoy our food if you're sitting in the car all day. Come on. I have blankets if you get cold." Tetsuhiro whined and reached an arm around to unclick Souichi's seatbelt buckle, and Souichi tsk-ed at him.

"It's not cold out. Stop treating me like a wife."

Tetsuhiro grinned. "Why? Don't I know how to take good care of you, Senpai?"

"I can take care of my damn self!" Souichi grumbled and shoved the bento box into his kouhai's chest, pushing himself down out of the car and slamming the door shut. "Let's get this shit over with."

Tetsuhiro smiled. "I love you, Senpai." He reached out to link his hand with Souichi's.

Souichi whipped back at him. "D-don't do these irrelevant things!"

"Why not? It's you I love. Not Masaki. And don't ever think that it's the other way around."

"Who said anything about him?!" Souichi growled. "Just shut up already!"

"Are you jealous, Senpai?" His hand released Souichi's as it crawled its way to Senpai's butt and gave a firm squeeze. He couldn't wait to get home and ravish the treat in front of him. He thought he would never be able to get enough of his Senpai.

"Hah!" Souichi's back arched as if someone had put ice on his spine. "N-not in your dreams…!"

"Hm, I wish." Tetsuhiro sighed. "Only in my dreams, do I get to see that lovely specter that I call my Senpai." He began to pull Souichi gently across the cobblestone path to the field. Cherry blossom trees fenced the path, littering their rosy petals on the pathway. "My Senpai takes care of me, kisses me when I come home from work, picks out my bedclothes for me, showers with me, voluntarily sleeps in my bed." He rambled on things that the real Souichi never did. "He lets me brush his long, soft, be_au_tiful hair._"_

"Stop visiting me in your dreams. That's… weird." Souichi looked away and blushed, flattered and embarrassed. He hated when Morinaga pointed out his feminine features. He wasn't a woman.

Tetsuhiro chuckled. "Hey. We're here. You ready?"

"No…" Souichi mumbled, looking away. He wasn't able to look for long because Tetsuhiro's fingers found a grip of his face and planted his lips on Souichi's. The kiss was brief, but it was deep and hot and full of love and passion.

Souichi didn't push away, glad to be hidden by the pink trees. The kiss sent sparks down his spine and into his legs, igniting his skin and desire. He was becoming hungry, thirsting for satisfaction. Morinaga's tongue was bigger than his, soft and warm and moist; he craved the feel and the taste of it. He wanted more.

But he couldn't.

They were out. In public. With Masaki.

"Hah… ah… no…" Souichi gently shoved him away, tongue recoiling back into his mouth. His tongue tingled, pleased with the stimulation.

"You can do it, Senpai. Just don't kill him, please." Tetsuhiro smiled and went first, pushing past the last branches of the trees leading into the fields. It took him a moment to find the slender blonde figure, but he eventually spotted it perched against a tree about thirty feet away, facing the sky. "Ah! Masaki-san!"

The figure turned around to the source of the voice. "Tetsuhiro! Tatsumi-san…!"

Tetsuhiro ran over, looking down on Masaki. Even as full grown adults, Tetsuhiro was still the tallest. Masaki hadn't grown much; golden blonde hair reaching past his shoulders, soft black eyes, the same handsomely fragile face countered by a defined heart-shaped jaw. It wasn't sculpted in the femininely angelic was that Souichi's was. It wasn't Tetsuhiro's preference.

"Masaki-san… how've you been?" Tetsuhiro felt awkward; he didn't know what to say to Masaki. _Is life okay? How is it going with Kunihiro? How's your job at the bar? Are you thinking about raising a family? Are you thinking about marriage? Are you thinking about divorce? _

"Oh, just fine really…" Masaki answered honestly, motioning for the two lovers to sit down on the grass with him. Souichi looked like he wanted to run away. His clothes felt too revealing, and he felt Masaki's eyes on him. Tetsuhiro gladly accepted the offer and took the bento box, setting it down on the grass and sitting with his legs crossed. He began to untie the string on the box. "I see Kunihiro often at the bar; he comes in with some colleagues from work, and he always orders a martini. He doesn't have much variety when it comes to taste buds."

Tetsuhiro grinned and nodded. "He never really has. Even as a child he was picky. I always used to cook when mom was at work, but Kunihiro wanted no part of it. He was stubborn and insisted that only mom's cooking was good."

"Yeah, well…" Masaki shrugged, "he would never want to cook because he admired my cooking so much. We never ate out. He always wanted me to cook."

"Oh! T-that's great, Masaki-san!" Tetsuhiro broke out into an appreciative smile. He felt something brush his left shoulder, and turned slightly to see Souichi sitting down, face red, eyes at the ground. He had his side pressed against his, not wanting to go anywhere else.

Masaki nodded. "And Tatsumi-san."

Souichi's eyes darted up, full of fear and malevolence. "What?"

"How are you and Tetsuhiro? I hope you're taking good care of him."

"I-I am! Who are you to say that?!"

"Hm, I'm just asking."

"Well don't ask."

"But you're his lover, are you not?" Masaki looked straight into Souichi's eyes; he was completely serious. "Lovers are supposed to take care of their significant other." He could see Tetsuhiro blushing at this comment and looking from Masaki to Souichi. He was probably gauging Souichi's reaction.

"Wh-who are you to tell me this?! We're not lovers! He's my kouhai!"

"Oh, I know~." He drawled on, waving his hand passively. "Are you the submissive one?"

Souichi blushed bright red. Every muscle in his body was moving to hit him. Tetsuhiro immediately stood up, frantically brushing off his clothes.

"U-uh, I'm gonna go buy us some drinks from the vending machine! I won't be a minute!" Tetsuhiro ran off; most likely to avoid the situation.

"How dare you!" He swung but didn't have much luck as Masaki caught his fist with a calm hand. Masaki's eyes were cold and full of promise. Souichi couldn't stand to look in them; he hated this bitch with everything in him, and now he had a growing fear of what he might do. Souichi had been taught for years by Tetsuhiro to be soft and pliable like a woman, to be the taker and not the giver. God knows if he could stand up for himself in this case.

"How dare I? How dare _you."_ Masaki shoved his hand away. Souichi's eyes widened at his change in character; he was just sweet and dandy, but now he looked ready to eat him. _'What is his problem?!'_

"W-wha?"

"How dare you." Masaki repeated, slowly walking towards Souichi, causing him to back up to keep his space. "You're with Tetsuhiro, but you don't treat him like you care about him. He loves you with all his heart, for God's sake! You don't care! He tells me all the time how much he wishes that you would acknowledge the fact that he would _die _for you, and you don't give him so much as a _thank you."_

Souichi was stunned. "W-who are you to tell me about me and Morinaga?! We're fine so just leave us alone!"

"Oh I can't," Masaki had him pressed against a garbage can. If the cold metal in his lower back wasn't comfortable, then the hand running through his hair was definitely not, "because now you've gotten me intrigued." Souichi could feel Masaki's breath on him.

"What do you mean…?" Souichi was shaking; he tried to control it, but the fear in him wouldn't allow it. Where was Tetsuhiro to come to the rescue and shove the bastard off of him? Where was he to come and see that Souichi had been right about Masaki all along? _Where was he?_

"I want you. " The words were said as a hot husky breath right against his ear. "And I intend to have you one way or another."

…_What?!_

It ignited Souichi like nothing he said had. "Wh-what are you saying, you sick fuck!"

"I want you." Masaki stated plainly and apathetically. "Don't you look at yourself in the mirror every day? You're everything delicious to the homosexual eye. And if you won't let Tetsuhiro have you, then _I _will. And if you refuse, I'll kill Tetsuhiro." Masaki's words faded away as his body did also. Tetsuhiro was coming back. Souichi could hear his dim voice in the distance.

"Y-you wouldn't!"

"Oh? I wouldn't? I already killed him emotionally in high school. What makes you think I can't finish what I started?"

Souichi had a difficult time breathing; what the hell was he to do? Should he tell Tetsuhiro? How the fuck would he even do that? Tetsuhiro wouldn't believe him; he had too much respect for Masaki already. What was he to do? Ignore it? What if Masaki snuck into their apartment and raped Souichi in his sleep?

"Why are you doing this?" Souichi asked lowly, hiding his face in his long hair as his voice quivered. He was scared the man would jump on him any second.

"Why not?" Masaki smirked at him. "You don't love Tetsuhiro. You would be with any guy regardless if they loved you, as long as they were a good fuck."

Souichi's temper flared. "You son of a bitch!" His first instinct would be to smack him, but Masaki had good reflexes. He'd caught Souichi's last punch before it came in contact with his face.

"Ah ah ah, better watch what you say. Your loving kouhai is coming back." Masaki jutted out his chin in superiority.

"Masaki-san! Senpai!" Tetsuhiro came running over to them, soda cans in each hand. The muscles in his neck and arms flexed as he slowed down. His eyes sparkled with innocence and quiet ignorance, completely unaware of the evil that was brewing from his ex lover. "What did I miss?"

Souichi's throat tightened and he couldn't speak, but it wasn't like he'd have anything productive to say anyway. His voice caught in his throat as his reflux began to spike. He felt as if he would vomit; the pressure was just too much. All he wanted was to live a calm life with his kouhai, but he couldn't even have that. The uncertainty was deafening, and when he had nobody to ask for help, the anxiety was even worse.

"Tatsumi-san and I were discussing how wonderful you are doing at your new job~!" Masaki placed his hands on his hips and rotated them slightly to accentuate his point.

"Eh?" Tetsuhiro was surprised yet flattered. "Th-thank you! Senpai is very supportive of me." He smiled and caressed Souichi's hair, softly combing his fingers through the strands and making sure to gently massage his scalp.

Souichi couldn't help but back up into Morinaga's arms, completely comfortable as two warm arms wrapped around his torso, keeping him safe. Did he love Morinaga? And what the fuck did Masaki mean? _'You would be with any man as long as they were a good fuck. You don't love Tetsuhiro.' _He wasn't gay, dammit! He wasn't someone that could be thrown around like a prostitute! He belonged with Tetsuhiro. He was with him willingly, wasn't he? Telling the idiot to stay by his side? Wasn't that enough?

"Oh, I hope he is~." Masaki grinned. "You really deserve it, Tetsuhiro." He made sure to glance over at Souichi while speaking. The weary stare he was rewarded with confirmed his suspicions of how well he'd frightened his ex's lover. _'How cute.'_

Tetsuhiro smiled and giggled quietly, idiosyncratically pushing up Souichi's sweater and stroking his bare stomach. Souichi sighed in comfort. He was so helpless.

"Well, I'm hungry. Let's eat this bento!"

Tetsuhiro began to pass out paper plates and chopsticks, motioning to Souichi to sit next to him.

His thoughts haunted him. He was capable of taking care of himself, but in this situation he relied on Tetsuhiro to be his bodyguard. He counted on all the love that Tetsuhiro had for him to keep him safe. He didn't know what kind of history Masaki had as a sadist, but judging his confidence, Souichi could only guess that he wasn't new at it. As he huddled up to Tetsuhiro's side in both the light of the cool weather and the fear of being taken by Masaki, he had one thought that he couldn't shake away.

'_What do I tell Morinaga?'_

* * *

**A/N So yeah, lol. This was actually hard to write, but whatever, I did it. While writing, I always feel like it isn't fluid enough. Please let me know if it is or isn't. Review and favorite, please. **

**Onigiri – rice balls, sometimes wrapped in dried seaweed**

**Shokado – a sleek black bento box**

**Japchae – stir-fried cellophane noodles; usually served with vegetables and beef or pork**

**Taiyaki –pastry that can be filled with various meats or fruits**

**Tteok – gluttonous rice cakes; usually sweetened (I love tteok~)**

**Youtiao – cooked rolls of dough, kind of like soft pretzels; usually salted **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N Woo, new chapter ~ **

**This chapter is a very long flashback into Morinaga's mind, to see what really happened to make all of this happen between the three of them. You'll see what I mean. **

**The characters can get very OOC, but it's necessary to make this plot. So please don't complain that I didn't keep them in character or that I changed too much. **

**And the whole Asian rule of writing/saying your last name first, it's honestly weird in my opinion, but I follow the rule anyway. **

**Title: **The Puppet Paradox

**Disclaimer: **Characters not mine, idea mine.

**Characters: **Souichi, Tetsuhiro, Masaki, Kunihiro, Hiroto, OC

**Rating: **M

**Warnings: **Sexual scenes, language, slight BDSM

**PS: All Asian words are translated at the bottom in the ending author note. **

**Enjoy c:**

* * *

His thoughts haunted him. He felt as if someone had locked him inside a cryogenic freezer; he had nowhere to run from the ghosts in his mind. Not only was his life now in danger, but Morinaga's was also, and that just wasn't okay.

What the hell did Masaki mean? He wanted him? He wanted _him? _What happened to Tetsuhiro and his brother? And who in their right mind would thirst for Souichi? _Souichi, _of all people. Morinaga didn't have a right mind, so he didn't count. Souichi was the farthest thing from being someone's one night stand. And he was with Morinaga, wasn't he? Well, not exactly _with _him, but he wanted him to stay, right? He had told him himself to stay. Right?

"Damn you, Morinaga..."

This was all Morinaga's fault. If he had never made a move on Souichi those many years ago and blackmailed him into spawning feelings for him, then none of this irrelevant shit would be happening. He had a life, studies, a family, and now he couldn't even look at them straight. Everything was twisted. He didn't need some bastard shoving his dick in other people's business where it didn't belong. That was disrespectful to Morinaga, after having wasted so many now useless feelings to appease Masaki. He had suffered so much at the loss of his first love, so why the hell was Masaki hurting him even more now? What did he even do to him? Something must've happened to bud this hatred from Masaki. This was solely between Masaki and Souichi, so it should've been resolved between Masaki and Souichi.

Why was Masaki targeting Tetsuhiro? Souichi could've handled just lust for himself, but why was Tetsuhiro's life on the line here? It was such an unrelated part of this "elaborate" plan of his. But why him of all people? Why was he targeting his beloved ex-boyfriend that he tried so hard to get back, and not in a good way?

What did Tetsuhiro do to Masaki? Was there something that he had neglected to mention to Souichi when he was recalling his past events? The wrist cutting, the hospital bracelets, the depression, all of these things he told Souichi which spurred on his Senpai's cute jealous rage. What was he hiding? Souichi couldn't help but tap his foot in annoyance, head pounding as the questions thundered in his brain.

What was Morinaga lying about?

* * *

_He lived a wild life after the heartbreak. He couldn't control himself, the primal urge to dominate taking over his whole form. He needed contact; he needed to feel loved and appreciated. He needed the close proximity of another person, and so it led him to becoming a lecherous person for a period of time. He couldn't cope with the loneliness, so he found his own way to fill the emptiness inside him. _

_He would stay at the bar almost all day and talk to his close friend Hiroto about his latest catches in bed, and sometimes take an hour or two out of his day to work out at a nearby gym. He needed to stay fit, after all; he was the biggest playboy known around these parts of town. _

_After his family had abandoned him, he left Fukuoka to move to Nagoya, where he lived in an expensive penthouse filled with pictures he'd kept of all of his one night stands. It was like a shrine, to remind himself of all the times he had made them succumb to his will. He felt empowered, immortal, and superior to everything and anything._

_And it wasn't even just males that he attracted, although most of them went weak at the knees when he even so much as smirked at them. Local females started taking an extreme liking to him, and his homosexuality didn't bother him much at the time. If he wanted a fuck, he got it. _

_But what had started all of this? Why had he gone from a quiet, sincere person to a carefree animal?_

_After Masaki had cheated on him with his own brother, he felt unloved. He felt as if he were unappealing, as if people he tried to develop a relationship with had treated him like he were infected with the Black Plague. Why was everyone avoiding him lately? Why was he so offensive to others?_

_The rejection tore him up like nothing ever had. First he was upset, but then he was angry. Then that anger grew into hatred, boiling hot and coursing thick through his veins like adrenaline. It blinded him, and all he wanted in that instant was revenge. He couldn't think or see straight, but that didn't matter. Masaki had hurt him when he had practically poured his entire heart and soul out to him on his sleeve, but the blonde simply brushed them off as though they were flies. _

_It had been only three months since Masaki had left him. It had been only three months since he completely lost his state of mind. It had been only three months since he felt the heavy weight of dislike press down on him. It had taken only three months for him to want to make Masaki pay. _

* * *

_"Hah... ha-ah! T-Tetsu...ku~n... jo ahyo~...!" _

_The delighted squeals of ecstasy rang out in his ears. It was the sound of pure nirvana to him, and that was all he ever wanted to hear again. The slapping of skin on heated skin felt like music to his ears, and he wanted more of it. He needed more of these delicious noises. He needed to know that people appreciated what he had to offer and that he wasn't just a waste of space. _

_"You fucking whore." Rough hands grabbed at her thighs, forcing them up over his shoulders. She happily complied, nails digging into his flesh. All he could think about at that moment was alabaster skin and long black hair, and he was in heaven. He didn't even know her first name. _

_"Ne, I'm your whore, aren't I, Tetsu-ku~n?" She leaned up to whisper in his ear. She wasn't that amazing of a bone, but he didn't care. She sufficed well enough for him to get his fill. _

_She was some Korean-American girl he'd found in the bar, god knows how old, but all that Tetsuhiro knew was that she wasn't underage. She had been interested in him, he'd been interested in her, and that's all that mattered. She was his to do with as he pleased. _

_"You better damn well be." He continued to ride her harder, feeling his end quickly rising, wanting to stretch his body and soul out to the gods as they took him away on a cloud of orgasmic bliss. How he loved the sins he dared to commit. He had no morals; who cared about them anyway? He was suffering, god dammit! It wasn't like he was the only one that had sinned in the world. Masaki had sinned, so he had all the right to as well. _

_Masaki. _

_Suddenly the mention of his ex caused him to clash his hands with her behind rather sharply, causing her to yelp. A wave of hot anger overcame him and he began to dig his nails into her skin so hard that she started to bleed, as he imagined closing his hands around the fucker's neck. He was too drowned out in her heated moans and screams, as well as his blind lust, to hear her protests for him to stop. _

_He felt the familiar tightening in his groin, and quickly ground his pelvis into hers, filling her as she begged for more. Fucking slut, he thought. Doesn't know what the fuck she's doing, playing with people's hearts like this just for a good fuck. The irony of his statement was deafening. _

_He slid out of her after she had leaked out onto his lower abdomen, setting her legs back down and allowing her to sleep. God knows she would be exhausted after a round with him. He never went easy on any of his volunteers, as he liked to call them. This wasn't about how they felt. It was about how he felt inside, the coldness creeping over him. It was a dark evil that threatened to absorb him wholly, and only the constant abuse of sex could calm it. _

_It wasn't until hours later that she awoke, small welts scarring her creamy skin. He felt a pang of guilt, knowing that she was just a young girl and he had unwillingly hurt her. She was innocent but yet she wasn't. He got too caught up in the moment, memories of someone unwanted taking over his mind. _

_He had returned to the bedroom to see her sitting up, wrapped in a sheet, brushing her long black hair with manicured fingers. She had a small face with rounded charcoal eyes and a small yet long body. She was cute, he supposed._

_"Hey... sorry, I just... I went too far." He apologized. He wasn't sincere in his apology, but she didn't need to know that. _

_She giggled. "It's okay. But... is there anything you want to talk about? You seemed really disturbed last night." She looked up at him with worried eyes as he sat next to her on the bed. His hand smoothed the back of her hair in a comforting manner. He did feel guilty for hurting her like that, but he had no control of his mind at the time. He was really messed up. "You know you can tell me anything."_

_"No, it's nothing you need to worry about."_

_"You sure?" She stroked his arm gently. She acted like he was a cat she was about to scare away if she was too rash. "I mean... I don't know how many people come in here like this just for a night of sex, but... and I'm not saying I want a relationship either... but... I'll listen to your problems if you need somebody to talk to. I'll be your friend if you'd like me to."_

_Not that he needed one. He had Hiroto. Hiroto was all the friend he'd ever need. But then again, Hiroto didn't have the soft personality of a female. _

_"You really don't mind?" She was slowly breaking down his walls of distrust. _

_She smiled at him. "I really don't. You can tell me anything. I won't care."_

_He sighed. "I've just been... well... I was... dumped in a pretty bad way, and... it made me feel like nobody really appreciated me."_

_That caught her slightly off-guard. "What happened?"_

_"The person I was with cheated on me with my older brother." He didn't want to tell her that he had been gay in case it made her worry that he couldn't get it up with her. Although she should've known that it wasn't a problem after last night. _

_"Oh god, I'm... I'm so sorry, I..." She trailed off, unsure of how to continue. "Is that why you've been having sex with so many people? To feel appreciated?"_

_She's a smart little shit, he thought. He couldn't help but grin a little. "How do you know they're all for sex?"_

_"Your pictures over there... of all those people... surely they couldn't all be family."_

_"Basically." He didn't feel like going into detail. "By the way, how old are you?"_

_She looked up at him, chewing at her lip. "Yaul ahob sal." Her voice came out thick with accent. _

_"Ah." He knew she wasn't underage._

_"What's your name?" She asked quietly. Obviously, he had told her his first name. She must've meant his full name. _

_"Morinaga Tetsuhiro. Anatawa?"_

_"Choi Younghee."_

_"Are you just visiting in Japan or do you live here?"_

_"Oh, I was here on vacation with a couple friends. I'm originally from Mokpo, South Korea." He wondered how much Japanese she knew just from a simple vacation. _

_"Kokowa suki ni narimashita ka?"_

_"Ne." Apparently she knew enough to be conversational. "The people are very considerate. You have been very kind to me as well, Tetsuhiro-kun."_

_"Oh, you're welcome." He offered a soft smile to her. "I've just been trying to find my feet again. I really am sorry I took advantage of you. You're a good person."_

_Younghee smiled. "It's okay. You can do it. I believe in you."_

_She gathered her things and got dressed, ready for Tetsuhiro to bring her back to her friends. _

_"So where do I take you?" He glanced over at her, popping his jeans button through its frayed slit._

_"Mwoyo? Oh, you can just drop me off at the bar again. My friends are probably still there. It's only what... three thirty in the morning?"_

_"Yeah, you didn't sleep very long."_

_"Choesonghamnida..."_

_"It's okay. I didn't want you to sleep all night long. You ready to go?"_

_"Yeah."_

_She was a nice girl, nicer to him than anybody had been in a very long time. He had had disrespectful thoughts about her, but now he regretted even thinking them. She was a sweet person, and didn't deserve to be treated in the shit way that he treated others and more importantly that he himself was treated._

_They were outside the bar by the time she had even realized that they were driving. She was still sleepy, as she didn't get much sleep after they had sex. She was prepared to go home with her friends and sleep all morning, praying for the welfare of a man by the name of Morinaga Tetsuhiro. _

_"Oyasumi nasai, Younghee-ah."_

* * *

_A month had passed and Tetsuhiro had slowly gotten better. He was becoming friendlier with people and he kept in constant touch with Younghee, using her as his personal counselor. She listened to him when he needed it and gave him a glimpse at her own personal problems, which she would use to build of off his and make him a sturdier person. And for a while, this method of hers was working. She consoled him while he continued to build off of his past to become a better person. _

_But that progress abruptly halted one day. _

_It hadn't been any certain type of day, just a regular day. Something in the back of his mind had told him to skip going to the bar to see Hiroto, so he did. He had always been one to trust his conscious thoughts. Perhaps he should've gone, and he would've had his head on his shoulders. But he didn't._

_He decided to stay home instead. His feet dragged him along the sidewalk back to his penthouse room, anticipating the familiar breeze of air conditioning and not this damp humidity. _

_He hadn't heard from his brother in over a month. It was a nagging worry in the back of his mind, but nothing that made him rush around and check nearby hospitals and free clinics to find his AWOL brother. Besides, that lying bastard would want him to leave him to rot. He would pay for the fucking things he's put me through, Tetsuhiro thought. _

_He had been pressing his brain to empty itself of all thoughts concerning Masaki and Kunihiro, and this along with Younghee's counseling was like amoxycillin to him. It cleansed him of every worry and every spiteful tick that he had, and he felt better. He felt sane again, like he could be himself once more. After this was all over, he was planning on settling down and attempting to find love again. _

_But as he entered the penthouse foyer, he immediately felt a change in the air. It didn't feel the same as it always had when he was home. It didn't feel welcoming to him in the least bit. It felt stale, and it felt mischievous. Tetsuhiro didn't like it one bit. _

_He didn't feel like bothering the personnel about his suspicions, so he just headed up the stairs to his room, gently raking the key card out of his back pocket. He nervously bent the thin plastic back and forth, as each step increased the heavy feeling. His feet barely stopped at his floor when he heard noise. _

_Now, he wasn't one to freak out over noise around him; he knew that other people liked to live here too. He had often heard the soft talking of a man and woman and the blare of their television next-door. This didn't sound to him at all like a man and a woman talking. He could hear a man screaming, and screaming in _pleasure.

_It made him blush, recalling when he used to only pick men as his one night stands, the many pleasure-filled and high-pitched whimpers and moans filling his ears once again. He was the one bringing them that pleasure, but now his stomach roiled as he heard somebody else doing it. It brought back the very same haunting feeling from years ago; he was unwanted._

_Curious, he decided to investigate, not knowing that it was the last thing he ever expected to come across. _

_Ear pressed against the door, he listened closely, hearing various gasps and moans accompanied by the bed rocking and creaking. _

_"Does that feel good?"_

_"Y-yes... ha-ah! Ah... d-don't... tease me..."_

_"I don't want it to hurt."_

_"It doesn't... hah... m-more... want it..."_

_The voices sounded familiar to him, but his mind was too clouded to distinguish them with faces. _

_"I'm going to move now."_

_...Brother?_

_"Hah! Y-yes! A-aishiteru... yo... K-Kunih... iro..."_

_...Masaki-san?_

_His body jolted away from the door as if it were on fire. He felt sick to his stomach, and his head ached terribly. He couldn't think to save his life. All he felt was white hot anger, and a desire to inflict pain. _

_How dare they! He screamed internally. Not only to continue this habit of fucking like rabbits in heat, but to DARE come to where I live? I fucking told Kunihiro I was staying at this penthouse! How dare they!_

_He stormed out of the foyer, slamming the door behind him with a lot more force than was necessary. He was surprised it didn't shatter, but he didn't have the conscious will to worry about that out of all things._

_He couldn't breathe. His chest felt like it was tightening with each second, as if he were about to go into cardiac arrest. His nape felt damp, and everything felt like it was spinning, but he didn't care. He was tired of being taken advantage of time and time again. Masaki didn't know how to keep his dick out of other people's business? He would fucking teach him to. _

* * *

_He waited. _

_The dark silence welcomed him, and he waited._

_He waited for even the slightest shuffle of footsteps outside the door to indicate someone's return. _

_He could've had to sit here for days on end until someone came home, but he waited. _

_Kunihiro was never smarter than Tetsuhiro, neither in common sense nor book smarts. He never left his apartment locked, even if he would be gone for days. Tetsuhiro didn't need days to get his point across. He only needed an hour. _

_The apartment was silent and pitch black, save for the ticking of the wall clock and his calm heartbeat. He sat in the closet behind closed wicker doors, waiting. Kunihiro never used this closet, but Masaki did. Luckily it had a back section that neither of them knew about, which led to a secret bathroom. _

_If this was how it felt to sin, he didn't mind it one bit. _

_The jingling of keys outside the door startled him slightly, but every cell in his body clenched so that he didn't move or make noise. The lights flickered on, and that's when he stood up. _

_The door closed, and the keys were placed on the coat hook. _

_"Kunihiro? I'm home."_

_Curious footsteps tufted around on the carpet, as if he were gazing around._

_"That's right... he's on a business trip."_

_A little closer, Tetsuhiro thought to himself. A little bit closer, Masaki. Let me show you how much you really fucking mean to the Morinaga family. _

_He shifted backwards until the thin wood panels behind him opened with the weight of his backside, and he was met with the cool air of the dark, hidden bathroom. Careful to leave the lights off as to not draw attention to himself, he closed the panels back up and peered through the small crack that they created in the middle. Masaki had just opened the closet door to pick out clothes. _

_"Hm... what would Kunihiro enjoy me wearing to sleep?"_

_Tetsuhiro's temper flared, nails digging into his palm until it turned white from the pressure._

_Masaki's hands delved further into the layers of clothing, separating them. He couldn't notice Tetsuhiro through the dark crack between the panels, but Tetsuhiro could notice him. Just a little closer. _

_"Where are my harem capri's? Oh..." He gingerly pulled out the rosy fabric and folded it over his arm, snatching a white wife beater to go along with it. He ruffled his bleached hair, pushing it back past his forehead as he went into the bathroom to change. Tetsuhiro noticed that he still had yet to take his makeup off._

_The side wall of the hidden bathroom also had a one-way panel which opened into the real bathroom, but it couldn't open into the secret bathroom. Quietly and stealthily, he crept over to the other wall, peeking through the crack as Masaki combed his hair with his long fingers. _

_His hands fumbled with his belt, pulling the leather out of the buckle and sliding his jeans down his hips. Offensive words melted into Tetsuhiro's head. Whore. Slut. Prude. Cocksucker. Cheater. Liar. All things he wished he could practically burn into Masaki's skin. _

_Thin hands pulled stretchy pink fabric up over feminine hips, and he wiggled them slightly as he slid the shirt over his head. The added stress caused his hair to tangle, and he quickly ran a wire brush through it. Setting it back down, he backed up a little to admire his handiwork in the mirror. _

_Conceited bitch._

_Unable to wait any longer and body practically seething with hate, Tetsuhiro shoved his hand through the panels and clasped around Masaki's wrist, pulling sharply. _

_"H-hey!"_

_He tossed the lithe body on the floor, the darkness giving him the perfect advantage. _

_"W-who's there?! Where's the light switch?! Where am I?!" Masaki stumbled to get up, but Tetsuhiro wasn't having it. _

_He grabbed both of his wrists, dragging him over to the tub. _

_"Let go of me! You fucker! Who do you think you are?! Help!" Masaki thrashed in his grasp, but he remained unmoved. Pale hands were shoved up against cold porcelain as handcuffs crunched around them. _

_Masaki's heavy breathing was met by frantic pulling, hoping to feel the sweet relief of his wrists flinging free, but they remained bound where they were._

_"Kunihiro, if that's you, this isn't funny! You're supposed to let me know ahead of time if you want to do these kinds of things! I would've been okay with it!"_

_He couldn't resist. _

_His hand collided hard with Masaki's face, the sickening crack echoing around the empty bathroom. _

_"W-wha..."_

_His legs kicked and flailed against the bottom of the tub, hoping the loud banging would alert the personnel. _

_Tetsuhiro wasn't having it. _

_His hands trailed agonizingly slowly from Masaki's throat to his nipples to his groin, where they kneaded the non-virgin skin for a few seconds before moving down to his calves. Once there, his nails dug into the skin like knives._

_"O-ow! K-Kunih-hiro, s-stop! That hurts! P-please!"_

_His legs continued to kick and buck to get out of the man's reach, and Tetsuhiro's patience was running extremely thin. _

_Getting up to go over to the medicine cabinet, which he knew was where Kunihiro kept his SM keepsakes, he pulled out a few things, the clacking of glass on hard plastic chiming and mingling with Masaki's erratic breathing. _

_"Th-this isn't fucking funny! Who is this! Tell me now!"_

_"Shut up."_

_It was the first thing he'd said since he came here, but he couldn't take it anymore. He just wanted him dead. _

_"Wh... Tetsuhiro?"_

_"I said shut up, you ungrateful prick!" His hands stumbled with removing the screw cap of the little bottle he'd taken from the cabinet. He didn't need lights to tell him what it was. "Drink it."_

_"What?"_

_"I said drink it. You should know how. That's all you're good at, after all."_

_"You traitor! What did I ever do to you?!"_

_Ignorant._

_There really was no getting across to Masaki with what he had done to scar Tetsuhiro for life. He grabbed Masaki's jaw and forced it open, hands rough like sandpaper, the same hands that had given Masaki unimaginable pleasure so long ago. He poured the contents of the bottle into his open mouth before snapping his jaw shut, making sure he swallowed all of it. _

_"How's it taste?"_

_"Tastes sweet... you-you better not be drugging me! I'll kill you!"_

_Tetsuhiro couldn't help but chuckle darkly at that. Masaki killing him. Oh, that would be a sight to see. _

_"It's strong stuff. Even your body which was trained to take lots of pleasure before climax won't be able to handle it."_

_"You... you slipped me something?!"_

_"Oh? You want it to go in dry?"_

_Masaki choked in his words, tears mixed with his saliva as he sobbed quietly. This was it. He knew why he was in this situation. He was paying for all the shit he'd put Tetsuhiro through. _

_"P-please don't... gomenasai... g-gomen..."_

_"I don't want to hear it. You've put me through so much, Masaki-san. I loved you, god dammit." A hand clasped Masaki's rapidly rising member, causing a startled moan to erupt from the blonde's mouth. _

_"I'm s-sorry!" Masaki couldn't hold back a loud, erotic whimper as plastic clamps were closed on his nipples, vibrations seeping into his skin. The drug was kicking in. It had only been a few minutes, but Tetsuhiro was right after all. This stuff was strong. _

_"Why do you do this to me? Why? Why do you enjoy hurting me? I was never a bad person to you. I did everything for you!" His voice had raised multiple octaves and it frightened even himself. He couldn't stop the urge to shout; the frustration was crippling. _

_"Shirimasen! I didn't mean to!"_

_"Liar! You meant to the whole time!" His voice broke. "You didn't care about me!" The bathroom shook with each word he said. He took advantage of the drug causing weakness to Masaki's body and pulled down his pants, separating the blonde's legs as he kneeled at the edge of the tub._

_"Honto wa..." Masaki panted, sweat forming along his face and neck. His chest heaved, nipples puckering under the thin cotton of his shirt. Desperate whimpers filled the air as his hips bucked up, yearning for friction. He was so hard, so prepared for the deed. He didn't need to look at himself to know that he was leaking. _

_"You never cared about how I felt at all. I poured my entire god damn heart out to you and I didn't receive anything in return! Anything!"_

_"G-gomen..."_

_"You're worthless. You fuck everything with a pulse and a dick. I won't ever be subject to your shit again."_

_"T-Tetsuhiro... p-please... it hurts..."_

_Selfish. _

_"Good."_

_His fingers slid down the blonde's parted thighs, the contact sending sparks to his groin. _

_"Hah!" His head whipped sideways, hair in disarray. _

_Tetsuhiro's fingers reached the blonde's hard sex, barely paying it any attention before they circled the puckered entrance. Masaki let out a loud whimper, hips bucking against Tetsuhiro's hand. _

_"Y-yatta!"_

_He ignored the plea and pressed the first finger past the ring of tight muscles, feeling them contract around him as to try and push him out. They tightened as much as they could so he couldn't go any farther, but he simply pressed in deeper. He was sure the force had torn him slightly, but he didn't bother to check. _

_Even as he pleaded to stop, Masaki's hips stuttered in response, bringing the fingers in deeper._

_"Look at you fucking my fingers. You desperate slut. That's all you care about, having someone's dick inside you. Isn't it?" Tetsuhiro thrust another finger in, harder this time, causing Masaki to bite his lower lip. They found what he assumed to be Masaki's prostate, as the loud startled moan and the rough buck of hips were enough proof for him. "Suki desuka? Koko?"_

_"I... iie... hah... h-hurts..."_

_"Sumimasen."_

_"P-please stop... hah..."_

_"You want me to stop?"_

_"H-hai..."_

_"Fine."_

_And stop he did. In fact, he stopped altogether, leaving Masaki sitting on the edge of an orgasm. His body trembled and convulsed, the vibrations originating from his nipples causing him to shake. He couldn't keep his heavy eyes open, but once he felt something rolling down the length of his cock, he was sure they couldn't have bulged more than they did in that moment._

_"N-no! Not that! Please!" Whimpers turned into hoarse screams as his legs banged against the edge of the tub, frantic to satiate his need. _

_"You say you're sorry for causing me pain, causing me all this emotional trauma, but you don't care. Don't act like you're so high and mighty. You don't have any love inside you. It's a wonder my idiot brother busted his ass to stay with you. You have no love for anybody other than yourself."_

_"T-that's not true... hah... I was worried about you..."_

_Tetsuhiro looked at him like he had asked him to murder the king of England. He let out a loud, sarcastic laugh. "Bullshit! You weren't worried about me! You fucking knew I was staying here to try to distance myself from you and build a life again, and yet you insisted that you two come here to fuck like animals while I'm trying to sort out my mind! You don't care about anything! You do whatever you god damn please! You have no care whatsoever about how I'm fucking doing or how I cried myself to sleep every night for months after we broke up! I may be young but I'm not fucking stupid, Masaki."_

_"I'm... s-sorry... I didn't... know..."_

_"Bullshit!" He was screaming now, and he was sure that the staff could hear, but he really didn't care. "Kunihiro was the only god damn person I could talk to and I know for a fact that he told you everything! You knew how I was suffering and you only sat back and indulged yourself in your selfish pleasure. You like pleasure so much? I'll teach you to fucking hate it." He flicked the button on the remote to the cock ring, one that he knew Kunihiro had ordered special, and the vibrations throughout the blonde's body increased exponentially. _

_Tears sprang from Masaki's eyes, the sensations becoming too much to handle. "AH! Ha... ahh! Hnn... ahh... n... no... s-sorry..."_

_"You're absolutely revolting. You think my family likes you? They treat you like you're scum. A tramp. I worked my whole life for them to accept me after they found out that I was gay, and they still haven't. But then you come around and sit back and at least SOMEBODY in my family appreciates you! You're just so goddamn amazing, you know that Masaki? Everyone fucking likes you in this selfish world. You've had partner after partner buying things for you and I can't even keep one fucking relationship, because YOU messed everything up! I can't even think straight anymore! I don't even know who I am and you're too wrapped up in fucking my brother that you can't take one hour out of your day to ask how I'm doing. You expect me to be here crying over you and asking for you back?"_

_"T-Tetsu... pl... ease... ah... g-gomen..."_

_"Don't ever touch Kunihiro again. You're worthless." His hand roughly grabbed Masaki's member, the contact sending him over the edge. His body arched up, hips shaking as he painted his chest and Tetsuhiro's hand with his seed. _

_Tetsuhiro stood up, leaving the lights off, and pushed open the panel on the side wall, walking out into the apartment. He would leave Masaki there to rot. He deserved it after putting him through such hell. Part of him tried to calm his jealous rage, but his brain had shut down long ago. He rummaged through the kitchen cabinets, smashing glass against the tile floor. Kunihiro would have a lot to clean up when he came home. _

_He slammed the door shut and walked out into the hallway, all concerns for his brother and his ex boyfriend burned out of his mind. He wanted to be left alone. He never wanted to see them again. _

* * *

Years had passed since that incident, and Tetsuhiro had found it in his better interest to forget about it. He had grown up since then, and he had found love once again. It felt so good to have someone day and night there to care for him, albeit reluctantly. He often cried in Senpai's presence, the only person that he would dare let his guard down around. Senpai had never once, in the many, many years that he'd known the man, done anything harsh to him. They'd had some pretty bad fights a few times, but afterwards, Senpai would ask him to stay with him and never leave his side again. He felt sorry, and Tetsuhiro was happy. He had someone there for him and he was grateful. He would never let Souichi out if his heart and sight. He wanted to be bonded to the man for life.

When they had gone to the picnic with Masaki, Tetsuhiro had hesitated to meet with him at first, remembering what he did to him many, many years ago, and also how Masaki had tried interrupting his and Senpai's relationship. He would be damned if Masaki even dared to put his hands on Senpai. He'd kill him before he got the chance.

* * *

**A/N So yeah, lol. I think I went too far. **

**I basically wrote this whole chapter in probably seven hours, but the reason why it hasn't been uploaded for a couple weeks was because our wifi decided to commit suicide on us and we had to replace the router and the modem. My wifi was connected, but it said it had no Internet access from it, so I couldn't go online to upload the chapter. So I ended up typing six thousand words on my phone into the Fanfiction document editor. Feel lucky. Took me FOREVER. **

**But seriously, I love myself for writing this. I don't know about you guys, but I'm in love with this story and I made it. It's one of those stories that portrays the manga in an entirely different aspect, and I just love it. **

**Translations:**

**Jo ahyo - It feels good/ It's good**

**Ne/Hai - Yes**

**Yaul ahob sal. - I am nineteen. (literally "I am ten and nine.")**

**Anatawa? - And you?**

**Kokowa suki ni narimashita ka? - Do you like it here? (as in a country)**

**Mwoyo? - What?**

**Choesonghamnida/Gomenasai - I'm sorry**

**Gomen - Sorry **

**Oyasumi nasai - Good night**

**Shirimasen - I don't know**

**Honto (wa) - Really (I really)**

**Yatta - Stop**

**Suki desuka koko? - Do you like it here? (as in having sex)**

**Iie (iie) - No**

**Sumimasen - Excuse me **

**Review and favorite please ~ (:**


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